Todo lo puedo en Cristo que me fortalece. Filipenses 4:13

Cousins

9/8/2014

Periodically, I would like to deviate from the status updates we are relating from our son in the mission field and perhaps focus on some other aspects that are equally touching and impactful on our family's lives.
                             
Today was an exceptionally special day for both our family and our extended family.  Of course, today we were able to receive our first letter from our elder while in the mission field but today was also a special day for my sister's sons: Kristen's oldest son, Micah, turned the big 21, and Hayden, was official sworn into the Marine Corps!  Two huge milestones!

There is no specific reason I feel compelled to share this post other than the love I have in my heart which is overflowing - so I hope am able to articulate my thoughts and feelings adequately.  However, I do have some trepidation because I fear that I won't be able to share those special sentiments I closely embrace in the right way so that they might be received in the same manner in which they are actually intended.  Please know that I proceed with much love, without bias, and without any self-serving motive.

Over this last weekend I couldn't help but contemplate the lives of four fine, men - each guided and motivated by different passions, unique life experiences, and individual interests; yet each are so alike in many ways.  Each are very caring,  dedicated, compassionate, head-strong, and uncommonly sensitive;  sensitive to the feelings of others,  sensitive to the needs of others, and most importantly, sensitive to the Spirit.  It shouldn't be too surprising that each share these qualities, despite their different circumstances, because each are the grandchild of some very special people who also shares these same characteristics, my parents!

I'm specifically talking about my son and three of his cousins:  Micah, Hayden, and Josh.   Of course he has other awesome cousins, and I would be remiss if I didn't mention that, but the reason I feel so strongly to share my thoughts and feelings about these four cousins is because they each are close to the age of my son (they were just kids not too long ago, young men yesterday, and men today) and I strongly feel that each have specific missions to fulfill.

As I directed my thoughts about these men, I couldn't help but think about their mothers, my dear sisters and my wife.  I thought of how proud I was of each of these boys-turned-men and how much I love them but I had a hard time fathoming the depth of the love their mothers had for each of their sons and the indescribable impact they have had on raising them.  I have come to know that it is something very special!

Admittedly, I have often felt somewhat out-of-touch with my wife's
concerns that our son would be away for two years as she would frequently comment how tough it was going to be to let him go.  I would joke with her as she would delve into the minute detail of what he needed or may remotely need - from bug spray to Tylenol and everything in-between.  It wasn't until we were almost home after dropping our son off at the MTC (Missionary Training Center) that I was able to have a glimpse of her love for him and perhaps how I failed to comprehend a mother's love for her son.  As we were approaching his friends' houses to take them home, she commanded them "don't get lost!"  Not quite understanding what she meant, I looked over at her and teasingly said "What do you mean by that...?" However, before I could even complete the entire sentence I realized exactly what she meant!  I saw the tears rolling down her face from swollen eyes.  It had become real!  All of her emotions had culminated into this moment as she realized that his best friends would no longer be coming around the house because HE would not be there!  Why could I have not be more empathetic and paid more attention to her?  Did I not miss my son as much?  These and a dozen more questions flashed through my mind as I reached over and held her hand, recognizing that I had so much to learn from my dear wife.

I witnessed another mother's deep love for her two grown sons.  While I may not be as intimately aware of all those tender moments Kris has had over the last few weeks, I have been acutely cognizant of the affection in her eyes, the conviction of love in her smile, and the pride that she wears in her countenance as she quietly observes her two oldest sons.  What is harder to comprehend, and perhaps not as apparent to most,  is her unwavering devotion for her family and more particularly for her sons Micah and Hayden; not because her actions don't clearly show it, it is what she doesn't outwardly show that is confounding to all but only to mothers of sons.   It is the exhaustion, the worry, the ache that she buries within, not to be disclosed to anyone out of fear that it would distract from the true sentiment of the occasion! 

What made today especially difficult for her wasn't that one of her sons was leaving for the Marine Corps, it wasn't necessarily thought that she would not see him for the next three months or the uncertainty of the difficult times her son would be faced with while in boot camp; at the end of the day what was most taxing on her was the difficult charge of ensuring that both her sons received the love, support, and recognition that each so much deserved.  She wanted so badly for both of her sons to know how much they meant to her and it tore at her heart knowing that it could be perceived, due to circumstance and timing, that more acknowledgment was being given to one more than the other. Decades of parenting and mothering have qualified her to truly discern the needs of her 'boys' and it couldn't be more obvious to me that the strength that now radiates from these men could only be as a direct result of the unconditional love and nurturing they had received from their mother!    Only a mother has the capacity to do this...

The mother of the third cousin is my beautiful, adventurous, charitable sister Kim (I have a lot of beautiful sisters that may fit this bill, I know). She too recently had the bitter-sweet opportunity to say her goodbyes to her son, Josh, as he just left on his mission.  However, this wasn't her first missionary; she sent her oldest daughter out to the mission field exactly a year ago - almost to the day!  Despite being experienced in these matters (preparing a missionary and sending them off), this didn't make it any easier!

Kim has always had a special relationship with her son, a unique bond that has transcended past his childhood and continued well into his teenage years.  This matchless rapport was developed through much patience and sacrifice that only a devoted mother could cultivate.  Josh developed a love of running, of learning, of culture, of charity, and of the gospel from his mom.

Due to a delay in obtaining a Visa, Josh received notification from the travel department (only week before he was to fly out to Mexico for the Centro de Capacitación Misional - CCM) that he would be attending the MTC in Provo, UT!  I'm certain Josh wasn't too happy about that, as he would miss an opportunity to partake of a new culture, but it did give Kim the experience a more intimate curbside farewell!  Now, I'm not sure if this is was one of those tender mercies to allow for a mom and son to part ways with a little less anxiety or just a bum deal for Josh! 

"The Devil knows that those who rock the cradle can rock his earthly empire.  And he knows that without righteous mothers loving and leading the next generation, the kingdom of God will fail."  It is without doubt that I know that these fine women in my life had realized a marvelous work raising their boys and that through their love, devotion, nurturing, patience, examples of charity they have been instrumental in laying a foundation that these men needed in order to become great!   I feel I can echo the words of Heleman, an ancient prophet from the Book of Mormon who led an army that consisted solely of young men, speaking of these young warriors "Yea, and the did obey and observe to perform every word of command with exactness; yea and even according to their faith it was done unto them; and I did remember the words which they said unto me that their mothers had taught them."

 As I had alleged earlier, is it any wonder why each of these men are so very kind, devoted, sympathetic, self-willed, and uncommonly sensitive;  sensitive to the feelings of others,  sensitive to the needs of others, and most importantly, sensitive to the Spirit?  Few of us will reach our potential without the nurturing of both the mother who bore us and the mothers who continue to bear with us.  I know this to be true in my life, for without my loving mother and her unconditional and unwavering love she demonstrated to me in my formative years (and even now), I couldn't be a fraction of the man I am today and will be tomorrow.   And, as for these men, the same can be said for them!  I love these cousins with all my heart and I'm so grateful of their moms and I'm so very proud of the men they have become.

~me











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